Have you in a difficult situation that you must address issues? One where numerous personality  collide? Or the stakes are high – whether involving money or a person’s reputation? Or someone, maybe lots of someones, may be embarrassed or worse? Before you say a single word or ocmpose that emai, consice several factors will help you get the fight the right message to the right place for the best result. For example, personality of those involved, culture of the environment school or work, appropriate timing of response, vehicle for your message and appropriate tone for you.   Your control the ebb and flow of your conversations with your communication style, you body language, tone of voice, and the words you use, all contribute to your overall impression, but your communication style is crucial to the mix.

First, good listening skills are essential to favorable impression functions.

And because when you learn to listen, you:

• Make others feel important
• Acquire information from which you can determine others’ needs, biases and stereotypes
• Give others confidence that you have heard and understood them
• Make appropriate comments
• Avoid boring others
• Encourage others to listen to you

There are 9 keys to effective listening:

• Listen for, and with, emotion
• Don’t interrupt
• Avoid distractions
• Be an objective listener – avoid emotional commitment/neediness/fear/defensiveness
• Be patient
• Actively participate
• Prompt others to talk
• Be direct and responsive
• Self-disclose

We all communicate everyday, every moment, with our loved ones, co-workers, clients, service providers. Your communication style is to show who you are.

To enhance your communication, there are several good tips and rules you can follow:

• Make your language understandable
• Use expressive words
• Use positive words
• Be liberal with our compliments
• Apologize when warranted
• Avoid assurances of honesty
• Don’t guess as if you knew
• Don’t exaggerate of engage in hyperbole
• Don’t be too defensive
• Avoid ingratiating behavior
• Never make promised you cant keep
• Avoid weasel words
• Don’t question other’s honesty
• Use kind, not harsh words
• Don’t show disrespect for others
• Don’t be judgmental
• Avoid unnecessary self-promotion

Be clear about the outcome you want. You may clarify about what you are thinking of feeling to get a better perspective about wht you want. sSo Bebore you communicate with anyone, gt a strong sense of you own intentions.

Some standard thoughts from men:

I must admit that playing the field is a whole lot of fun, but so is being in a serious relationship — provided that it’s with the right woman. But how do you know if she really is the right woman for you? If she possesses the following 10 traits, you better hold on to her for dear life or, before you know it, a guy who already knows where it’s at will get his hands on your “goods.”

She is independent

No one wants a girlfriend they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if she’s had a rough day at work, it’s great to be her shoulder to cry on, but if she can’t seem to function without you and is constantly after you, she will eventually make you feel like you’re suffocating, which is a surefire way to get you running out the nearest exit.

On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet , both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you — while still missing you, of course — then she must be a great girlfriend.

She is intelligent

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the bimbo routine gets real old, real fast. Instead of being the one in total control, you’ll find yourself trying to figure out what she’s really thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers — or if she’s actually thinking at all.
An intelligent woman will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. She won’t let you get bored of her. Besides, it’s nice to have something to talk about between all that chandelier-hanging sex.

She is sexual

While we’re on the topic, a great girlfriend has to be sexually compatible with you. For instance, if you’re into S&M and she’s more the “fluffy lingerie” type, that’s a problem. The two of you have to be on the same page — or, at least, she has to be willing to wear leather and use a whip from time to time.
Of course, this doesn’t imply that she has to know all the right moves straight away; it simply means that you and she have an undeniable attraction toward each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the washer — whatever the case may be.

She is beautiful

I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great girlfriend will not only want to look good for you, but also for herself. She should always look her best and be well put together — matching lingerie is a definite plus.
You have to be proud to have her on your arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn’t mean that she has to be a Heidi Klum clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think her full bottom or uncontrollable curls are beautiful, you’re allowed.

She respects you

This is a biggie. Your woman must respect you. This means that she listens to you, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with what you’re saying. And, of course, she never tries to demean or belittle you in any way, shape or form.
A great girlfriend won’t ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If she respects you, chances are that she will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.

She lets you be a man

Do not get involved with a woman who tries to get you to eat cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that you give up poker night with the guys. You will end up resenting her more than you can imagine. A good girlfriend lets you be a guy in all your glory, poker night and all. If she’s a great girlfriend, she’ll even bring you and your buddies a couple of beers and make you some of her famous sandwiches.
She has to understand that men and women are different and should allow you to be yourself. Just like you wouldn’t deprive her of going shopping with her best girlfriend, she shouldn’t expect you to give up the guys for her.

She is nag-less (or nags less)

There is nothing worse than a nag! A great girlfriend knows this and chooses her battles wisely. She knows when to speak up and when to let it slide. You don’t want a girlfriend who will give you hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally.
However, if you live together and you stay out all night without calling her, and she lets you have it, then you’re setting yourself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide — not even a great girlfriend.

She gets along with friends and family

A great girlfriend will not only help your mom in the kitchen, listen to your dad’s stories and hang out with your friends, but she will enjoy it. She’ll make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in your life. And she won’t try to get you to ditch your best buds.
She’ll actually empathize with your brother’s getting dumped and suggest that you guys take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but your friends won’t roll their eyes and moan when you mention that she’ll be joining you guys when she gets off work (yes, women like this do exist).

She loves you

If you have found a woman who loves you for who you really are and not who you pretend or try to be sometimes, you should definitely hang on to her. A woman who doesn’t try to change you is hard to find. Of course, all women have their slightly annoying habits that their mate has to contend with, but if she really loves you, she will be able to cope with these.
Another way to know if she really loves you is by observing the way she looks at you and treats you on an everyday basis. If the sight of you doesn’t seem to faze her either way, and she doesn’t really seem to care about what you have to say, she’s either playing very hard to get, or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from you makes her light up, there’s no denying that she loves you.

She makes you want to be a better man

Stop making that face… any man who has a great girlfriend or wife will tell you that she makes him want to be a better man. She doesn’t have to say or do anything; it just is that way. If you suddenly feel bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation for doing so. It could be love.

Somewhere on the long list of things men don’t understand about women is a woman’s tendency to treat her man like a child, which usually happens at the first indication of a committed relationship. During the casual dating/courtship phase, she may be independent, flexible and accommodating, but as soon as you’re committed, a switch flips in her head and she turns into your second mother and treats you like a child. There are benefits to this transformation (nurturing affection tops the list), but there are also drawbacks, like nagging and lecturing.

Ultimately, this mother/son dynamic can be the death of a romantic relationship: The person you have sex with should not remind you of the person who gave birth to you. So, how can you nip her motherly behavior in the bud and get back to a loving, equal partnership? Read on to learn what to do when she treats you like a child.
Her maternal instinct.

As much as some women would like to fight against their inherent biology, they were made to bear and raise children. When women don’t have children of their own, they tend to project all their nurturing instincts toward the closest person in need, which, in this case, is you. Not all women are destined to or even want to be mothers, but most women have the capacity and even the drive to take care of something or someone. When this comes in the form of making you soup when you’re sick or listening to your troubles after a long day at work, it is most welcome. When it results in repeated requests for you to cut your hair already or pick up your socks, it may bring out the teenager in you.

What to do: When she treats you like a child, you can counteract the negative results of her maternal instinct by acting like a man. She is less likely to think of you as a child if you regularly demonstrate that you are strong, independent and self-sufficient.
Her mother

The deciding factor when it comes to whether your girl’s care-taking tendencies come out as the over-bearing, nagging mother complex or the soft, caring mommy incarnation is what kind of mother she grew up with herself. Women tend to carry on the traits they learn from their mothers, no matter how hard they may try not to — and when she treats you like a child, this isn’t always a good thing. This doesn’t mean that you’re destined to be with the mirror image of your potential future mother-in-law (and if she’s a real bat, you have our pity), but chances are good that your girl has picked up at least a few of her tricks. On the other hand, if her mom is warm, open and bakes you cookies, you should marry that girl immediately because that kind of mother-in-law is few and far between.
What to do: If your girl is starting to display the negative characteristics she has learned from her mother, point it out to her. If she is one of the many women who doesn’t want to end up like her mother, this should be enough to set her straight. You could even agree on a quick code word that you can use when she’s throwing a mom fit, like referring to her by her mom’s name.
You asked for it

Naturally, another potential reason for her to treat you like a child is because you’re acting like one. It’s no secret that women mature faster than men, so you and she may not be on the same page when it comes to maturity levels. You may want to pull a teenage rebellion fit when she tells you there isn’t enough money in your budget to buy a PlayStation 3, but keep in mind that the more you act like you’re 12, the greater the chance she’s going to pull out her mom look and stare you down.

What to do:Act your age and the nagging should subside. If you can rationally explain your behavior or desires, do so. If, however, you can’t come up with any adult reason for them, just cut it out.
Looking out for you

Whether it comes out as nurturing or nagging, in most cases it comes from a place of genuine affection. If she didn’t care so much about you she wouldn’t bother to lecture you on how much fast food you’ve been eating. Just remind her, calmly and without a confrontational attitude, that you are an adult and fully capable of making your own decisions. Add that you very much value her advice and appreciate her help and you’ll earn major relationship brownie points in the process. Sometimes her reminders are genuinely helpful; try to see them for what they are and don’t overreact.