Fabulous relationship is not a result of hours, days or years of hard working.  Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. “It’s small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship.”

Secret 1. Understand Each Other’s Needs

Most of us believe that the main reason relationships break up is conflict, financial issues, communication problems, or sexual incompatibility. Dr. Orbuch thinks that the main reason is frustration, day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts. “To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. “And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations,” Orbuch says.

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Original  List:  (AGE 20)

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer thing
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

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Want your guy to take care of dinner once in a while? Want him to help you get some time to yourself? That doesn’t sound like too much to ask. So why do we all have such a tough time asking? In this excerpt from her book Saying What’s Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success, Susan Campbell, PHD, explains that being assertive and diplomatic isn’t as difficult as we think:

Why We Don’t Say What We Want

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