Somewhere on the long list of things men don’t understand about women is a woman’s tendency to treat her man like a child, which usually happens at the first indication of a committed relationship. During the casual dating/courtship phase, she may be independent, flexible and accommodating, but as soon as you’re committed, a switch flips in her head and she turns into your second mother and treats you like a child. There are benefits to this transformation (nurturing affection tops the list), but there are also drawbacks, like nagging and lecturing.

Ultimately, this mother/son dynamic can be the death of a romantic relationship: The person you have sex with should not remind you of the person who gave birth to you. So, how can you nip her motherly behavior in the bud and get back to a loving, equal partnership? Read on to learn what to do when she treats you like a child.
Her maternal instinct.

As much as some women would like to fight against their inherent biology, they were made to bear and raise children. When women don’t have children of their own, they tend to project all their nurturing instincts toward the closest person in need, which, in this case, is you. Not all women are destined to or even want to be mothers, but most women have the capacity and even the drive to take care of something or someone. When this comes in the form of making you soup when you’re sick or listening to your troubles after a long day at work, it is most welcome. When it results in repeated requests for you to cut your hair already or pick up your socks, it may bring out the teenager in you.

What to do: When she treats you like a child, you can counteract the negative results of her maternal instinct by acting like a man. She is less likely to think of you as a child if you regularly demonstrate that you are strong, independent and self-sufficient.
Her mother

The deciding factor when it comes to whether your girl’s care-taking tendencies come out as the over-bearing, nagging mother complex or the soft, caring mommy incarnation is what kind of mother she grew up with herself. Women tend to carry on the traits they learn from their mothers, no matter how hard they may try not to — and when she treats you like a child, this isn’t always a good thing. This doesn’t mean that you’re destined to be with the mirror image of your potential future mother-in-law (and if she’s a real bat, you have our pity), but chances are good that your girl has picked up at least a few of her tricks. On the other hand, if her mom is warm, open and bakes you cookies, you should marry that girl immediately because that kind of mother-in-law is few and far between.
What to do: If your girl is starting to display the negative characteristics she has learned from her mother, point it out to her. If she is one of the many women who doesn’t want to end up like her mother, this should be enough to set her straight. You could even agree on a quick code word that you can use when she’s throwing a mom fit, like referring to her by her mom’s name.
You asked for it

Naturally, another potential reason for her to treat you like a child is because you’re acting like one. It’s no secret that women mature faster than men, so you and she may not be on the same page when it comes to maturity levels. You may want to pull a teenage rebellion fit when she tells you there isn’t enough money in your budget to buy a PlayStation 3, but keep in mind that the more you act like you’re 12, the greater the chance she’s going to pull out her mom look and stare you down.

What to do:Act your age and the nagging should subside. If you can rationally explain your behavior or desires, do so. If, however, you can’t come up with any adult reason for them, just cut it out.
Looking out for you

Whether it comes out as nurturing or nagging, in most cases it comes from a place of genuine affection. If she didn’t care so much about you she wouldn’t bother to lecture you on how much fast food you’ve been eating. Just remind her, calmly and without a confrontational attitude, that you are an adult and fully capable of making your own decisions. Add that you very much value her advice and appreciate her help and you’ll earn major relationship brownie points in the process. Sometimes her reminders are genuinely helpful; try to see them for what they are and don’t overreact.

Being a bitch doesn’t mean being rude, hateful, or manipulative. It’s about holding your own and standing up for yourself. These days, it may just be what your relationship—and your guy—need.

Why Men Love Bitches

When Diane, 26, a training specialist, learned that her longtime crush, Mario, 28, hooked up with her office mate Sara, she was perplexed. “I don’t know what he sees in her,” Diane says. “This dating diya in the office, you can’t seem to mess with her—but she’s well-respected and she gets things done.”

Welcome The Bitch—the woman who’s strong, self-assured, fiercely independent, feisty, no-nonsense, and definitely dating, especially when dealing with men. These days, we’re just reeling from the discovery that it may be this type of woman that can hook a guy, and keep him wrapped around her finger, leaving nice girls in the dust.

“No woman is all sweetness,” celebrated French beauty Juliette Recamier once said. Niceness can be self-defeating. And, let’s face it, nice girls tend to be taken for granted. Take Pauline, 27, a finance officer. She was patient enough to wait and live out an on-and-off again, no-commitment-type of relationship with Roland, while he tried to figure out his life and what he wanted. The result? After two years of stringing her along, Roland decided he still wasn’t ready for anything major like a true committed relationship. In the meantime, Pauline wasted two years of her life—which she could have used up to scout for someone new—and more deserving.
It varies with every case, says Glen, 30, an art director. “I guess some Pinoy men would go for the conservative, masungit, nice-girl type,” he says. “Personally, I like a woman who’s aggressive and can stand up for herself. Maarte and clingy turns me off. It can stress a man out.”

What Attracts Him

What is it about that feisty attitude that men find so magnetic?
Men are highly competitive, and it’s inborn. “They love the thrill of the chase,” says Sherry Argov, author of the bestselling tome, Why Men Love Bitches. “The cat and mouse chase that women find maddening is very exciting to men.” Argov explains that more often than not, this is the scenario: “For a woman, the objective is often a committed relationship. For men, the road trip to the destination is often the most fun.”
“Men like challenges,” affirms Fred, 30, an illustrator. “If they go out of their way to see you, it’s just another feather in their cap, another accomplishment.”
It is a biological fact. In the same way that men thrived on being the hunter, men today relish the thought of exerting some effort pursuing something—and getting rewarded for it. “The Bitch understands that when a man wants something, he’ll go after it, and going after it makes him want it even more,” she says.
Most men, explains Argov, are also almost always scared of losing their freedom. A bitch seems more attractive to men because she’s a little more aloof, is more focused on herself, and hence has little interest in taking away his freedom. The Bitch is self-centered in a way: She chooses to develop and nurture herself first, before any one else—and focuses on herself, rather than on a guy.

If You’re a Woman Who’s Interested in Learning How to Control Men with Various Mind Games and Other Manipulative Tactics, or If You’re a Man Who’s Interested in Learning What Kinds of Mind Games to Look Out For, Then This Book is a Must Read for You!
I recently read a book titled “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov that I both liked and disliked. Her usage of the word “Bitches” is more sarcastic than anything as it’s suppose to reflect upon women who are strong, smart, free thinkers and independent. I liked this book because I enjoy learning some of the secret thoughts that many women have because this helps me to more accurately judge my compatibility with various women. I disliked this book because I feel it’s geared towards teaching women how to manipulate, fool and control men and their relationships with men.

In my opinion, it’s vitally important for both men and women who put forth a genuine effort to establish quality relationships to understand the various mind games that many people/singles play. Why? Because this helps kind, decent and mature minded people with a healthy degree of self-respect to protect themselves from those who operate with selfish and/or malicious motivations and agendas.

That said, I would urge any single and evolved man of strong moral character who’s interested in a quality relationship to avoid and/or reject any woman who’s demonstrating the tactics presented in this book. I vehemently believe that being in a relationship with a woman who demonstrates these tactics would yield an unhealthy level of melodrama. Because of how this book tries to teach women to be basically self-centered to an extremely selfish degree, I think being in a relationship with such a woman would yield a very lopsided relationship that’s mostly geared towards HER satisfaction alone.

If You’re a Woman Who’s Interested in Learning How to Control Men with Various Mind Games and Other Manipulative Tactics, or If You’re a Man Who’s Interested in Learning What Kinds of Mind Games to Look Out For, Then This Book is a Must Read for You!
And likewise for single and evolved women of strong moral character who are interested in a quality relationship, I’d urge you to acknowledge and comprehend the content of this book because in doing so, not only might it improve your knowledge and understanding of how other “lesser” women
operate; it might help you to quickly see the difference between primitive and evolved men. Primitive men will not likely pick up on a woman demonstrating the tactics defined in this book, but an evolved man of strong character and caliber will see right through it and HE’s more likely to be the man who’s up to your standards. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that a man being up to your standards automatically defines your relational compatibility with him, because it simply doesn’t.

I’m a firm believer that equality and balance are two required components of a healthy relationship. But in my opinion, this book is completely geared towards the woman calling all the shots in her relationship. I urge you to ask yourself, if it takes manipulation and control for a person to enjoy their relationship with their partner, are they really “Relationship Material” to begin with?

There was one facet of the book that I really did like though. Sherry Argov refers to women, who let men continually walk all over them and disrespect them, as “The Nice Girl”. Though I don’t feel this particular label actually applies to such woman, I do feel that women such as this need to learn to step up their levels of self-respect and self-esteem and this book might help them to see how it is that (some) men have been taking advantage of them accordingly.

“Why Men Love Bitches” was written in a straight forward manor without a lot of flashy vocabulary that will make you constantly reach for your dictionary. Sherry Argov explains her points in an easy to understand fashion without making you have to read between the lines. But I must reemphasize that if you’re seeking a QUALITY and HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, this book might not be of your best interest to read. But if you’re looking for refined ways of manipulating, fooling and controlling your partner, then this book is right up your alley.

Want your guy to take care of dinner once in a while? Want him to help you get some time to yourself? That doesn’t sound like too much to ask. So why do we all have such a tough time asking? In this excerpt from her book Saying What’s Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success, Susan Campbell, PHD, explains that being assertive and diplomatic isn’t as difficult as we think:

Why We Don’t Say What We Want

Some people are uncomfortable expressing wants because they imagine they’ll appear demanding or controlling. (“What if I ask for what I want, and he sees me as a nag?”) But my clients and I are discovering that expressing wants can be an act of transparency or vulnerability. It really depends on the intent. Are you asking in a way that reveals what you want? Or does your manner of asking imply a threat that if you don’t get what you want, there’s going to be trouble? Asking in a way that reveals yourself is an act of love. This is an example of the intent to relate. Asking in a way that implies a threat is aggressive and fear-inducing. This would be an example of the intent to control.

But even if you do get good at revealing your wants, it is still possible that the other might feel controlled ‑- even though this was not your intent. Consider Vera’s story. Vera has been dating. Howie for six months. Howie has told her that he often felt over-controlled as a child, and is therefore vigilant about others’ attempts to control him. Through trial and error, Vera has discovered a good way to bring both herself and Howie more present. After stating a want, she checks in with Howie to find out how her request has come across.

Here’s an example of how I have used Vera’s discovery in my life. I call my partner at work to ask him to come home on time tonight so we can have a long, intimate evening together. While my aim is to be open and non-controlling in my request, I can’t help but recall times in the past when my partner has disclosed that my asking something like this resulted in his feeling controlled and choosing to stay at the office even later “just to assert my freedom.” So now, as I consider making this request again, I feel some trepidation. In an effort to be transparent and vulnerable, I tell him, “I want you to come home on time tonight, and I also feel some fear about asking for this.” Then I ask how he is feeling receiving my request ‑- does it seem controlling? Does he feel resistance? Then I am silent as I listen to his response.