Enemies Of Success

What prevents us from success? Negativity, fear and worry. It is up to you to decide whether you will become a master or a creature of circumstances.

It depends on the direction in which we set our faces and how persistently follow the road upon which we set foot. Facing the right direction is the main thing. If, then, we have backbone and stamina and a fair degree of good cheer – which, if pursued persistently, will lead to a merry heart all along the way.

Our thought is the key, sturdy and defiant thought the look. Whichever way we look, we will find that thought is at the bottom of all progress or retrogression, of all that is desirable or unendurable in human life, it is a matter of sequence that follows the elemental law of cause and effect.

Fear Is Not Natural

Everyone has the power of determine what types of thought we entertain and live with. James Allen said:”A man can only rise, conquer, and achieve by lifting up his thoughts. He can only remain weak and abject and miserable by refusing to live up to his thoughts…Action is the blossom of thought, and joy and suffering are tis fruits; thus does a man garner in the west and bitter fruitage of his won husbandry.”

There are natural emotions and thoughts follows the train only good, normal, god-intended. Among these are hope, faith, courage, good cheer, love, harmony, compassion, forgiveness, and peace, that are positive, and uplifting and bodybuilding. They act upon the life forces within so as to stimulate the circulation and the process of nutrition, or even restore and to maintain harmony, and make both for mental and physical health and strength and vigor.

Oppositely,  there are thoughts and emotions are not perversions, unnatural and abnormal, such as fear, worry, long continued grief, anger, hatred and avarice, that considered as low types of thought and emotions, can produce disturbance and generate weakness in both mind and body. They lead to retrogression rather than to growth. We will see them work through a slow, corroding, pulling down process; or quick-acting in their poisoning, destructive influences.

Fear Factor

When fear becomes sufficiently deep-seated, we invite and attract the influences and conditions we desire.  The operation of the thoughts and emotions are subtle yet powerful, so we must look for the bulk of whatever comes into our lives. A deep psychological law says:”for the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and what which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

People who have grown habitually timid in their minds and spirits and whose bodies have been reduced to a low and sluggish tone through the influences. The number of people living way below par, mentally and physically as an effect of fear and worry is simply enormous. Additionally this general lowering of practical all bodily functions and peers, in thousands of cases fear and worry focus their effects on specific ailments and disease, according to the particular weaknesses of the individual in whose life they gain a foothold. The law of correspondence is wonderfully exact in its workings.

We remain continual salves to the hosts of things that we fear come and that we ceaselessly worry about, and in reality we often find out that these things hardly ever come.

Commanding Figures Do Not Fear

We fear what is ours today may not be ours tomorrow, fear for the lost of position or possession or friends, fear of accident, fear of disease, fear of death; or fear that something will befall this one or that one near or dear to us. We fear while inside – that something may happen, though we do not know what. When out on God’s road highway we fear that the bogeyman, in whatever form he may take any particular life, will stalk across our path.

We must take ourselves out of the class of fear and afraid, the abnormal. The commanding figures in life do not fear. The others, who are giving time to fear, are allowing the neutralizing and even paralyzing power of this perverted mental force to work its havoc in other lives. They are seeing the ideal they would actualize or attain to, and then setting into activity strong, definite types of thought-force that are hourly working for them along the negative lines they are going.

Protect Your Interior Treasure

Fear and worry steal the effectiveness from human endeavor and happiness. To reach the point where we in time become free from them is a matter of self-control. You can keep your mind true to the idea and the purpose, it is simply a matter of time you will have taken yourself entirely out of the class of the fear and afraid, the get nowhere.

Habit of fear and worry will have to bear the same stigma that others who lack self-control along other lines are compelled to bear today. We habitually concern ourselves with so many things that we really need not concern ourselves with for small matters of mere detail, instead of concerning our primarily with the fundamental, and allowing the attars of detail to fall in place naturally and of their done accord.

We get so accustomed to running in ruts that we can never hope for anything other than a limited or a one-sided development, unless we do this occasionally. We remember that by fear and worry nothing is ever to be gained, but much is always to be lost. By this negative attitude of mind, we open the doors many times for the entrance of the very conditions we fear many come upon us.

Unlimited Boundary

Fear is as direct a line of relationship as love. It is not the amount w expend that counts, but the way in which we spend it. When we spend last dollar knowing, internally, that it is impossible for us to become penniless, we then get a position which will not only let that dollar go, but will bring us another over the same line of transference.

Most of people do this without knowing the laws they are setting into motion. We must know how to look behind the things created into the energy that creates, and this recognition held steadfastly brings life into relation with higher liens of attraction.

The positive and constructive use of the power of mind with a definite goal in view will invariably result in advancement, attainment and achievement. We must also learn the full use of mind, and as it applies the use of the whole mind – deeper mental fields and forces, and to understand the subconscious as well as the conscious.

Rule #1: Being Mysteries

Maintaining a little mystery creates intrigue, which will keep those in your circle hanging on your every word. It’s for this reason that you are often standing here in a Mona Lisa smile while the rest of folks spill their entire mental file cabinet to everyone, everywhere.

Rule #2: Show Self Respect

Confident women know that being nice is sexy — but allowing people to walk all over you makes you look pathetic. So wipe that “welcome” sign off of your forehead, stop bending over backwards to make a coworker like you, or twisting you value system in knots to appease a man.  People respect those who maintain some boundaries, and it’s human nature to walk all over doormats like people-pleaser.

Rule #3: Stop Paraphrasing Perez Hilton

Stylish women know that only boring people gossip. Your life is far too interesting and fulfilling to sit on the sidelines giving a play-by-play of another person’s existence, talking about Brad and Angelina like the inside scoop on everyone. Stylish women know that men find gossips catty and insecure and that the rest of the world thinks a chatterbox can’t be trusted.

Rule #4: Loosen Up

Being uptight isn’t sexy, so lay back and stop following the rules everywhere from the boardroom to the bedroom. Having manners is one thing, but if you have to finish your to-do list before you get done, there’s a good chance your mate feels a little suffocated.

Rule #5: Keep You Body Fit

Your body is a temple. If you want anyone to worship it, you need to shine up that altar by taking care of it! It’s time to start exercising and eating food that’s good for you. Health-conscious women maintain their bodies without obsessing. They know those vitamins, dental appointments and a walks on the treadmill do more than make them pretty; they keep their body parts fit and strong. After all, nothing is sexier than good health. And besides, getting in-tune with your body will boost your confidence and take your sex sessions to a whole new level.

Rule #6: Use Common Senses

Alluring ladies know that human beings want to feel loved, appreciated and respected, which is why they always give those in their company their undivided attention. They maintain eye contact, shake hands, hug friends and actually listen; they don’t just wait for their chance to talk. That’s why everyone who crosses paths with them feel as though they are the most important person in the room.

Rule #7: Secure Yourself

Every woman has insecurities. But confident women don’t let them hinder their ability to maintain healthy relationships. If your low self-esteem is holding you back, it’s time for a little self-evaluation. In the beginning people might want to help and appease you but the needy act gets old fast. Men look for partners who can stand on their own two feet. And friends don’t appreciate having to explain their motives every other day.

Rule #8: Get Off The Stage

Drama makes for a great movie, but it doesn’t work in the real world. Plus, it makes everyone from bosses to boyfriends want to run for the hills! Sophisticated women like value their reputations and reserve outbursts for behind closed doors — and only when truly necessary.

Rule #9: Make the Best of What You’ve Got

Self-assured women know that men don’t just like one type of woman. They also act as their own PR rep and never put themselves down. Instead, they highlight their best attributes and turn perceived flaws into trademarks a la Jennifer’s bum or Barbra’s nose. These women relish in the fact that they are one of a kind and never waste their time and energy trying to be a carbon copy of someone else.

Rule #10: Step Out of Your Own Little World

Playing the “All about Me” game is a quick way to wind up alone—so take some time and check in with the people in your life. A thoughtful woman surprises her guy with flowers or a night on the town, calls a friend just to ask how her day is going and checks in with your sister to see how her interview went. A simple “How was your day?” shows you care about someone other than yourself and can make a lasting impression.

Rule #11: Don’t Play Dumb

Get over the grade-school worries: Being smart is not a ticket to nerdy-ville — it’s hot! Real appeal starts in the mind, so women with that “special something” — like Claire Danes — would never dumb themselves down in order to impress a man. They share their opinions on the war in Iraq, or S & P500 and aren’t ashamed of their PhD — or the fact they earn twice as much money as their date.

Rule #12: Be Funny

A woman with a sense of humor is not only attractive — her lighthearted attitude also works to her advantage: Laughing puts people at ease and makes you more relatable, which will make you more attractive to everyone, from friends and lovers to co-workers and neighbors.

You know at least one of this kind of woman. When she walks into a room, people take notice. They listen to her. They laugh at her jokes (even the dumb ones). But, what makes her so special? Was she born under a lucky sign? Or is there something else that separates “she who gets” from “she who gets it all”?

You bet there is. It’s major confidence. Women who have it, know it. There are very distinct habits of confident women.

Make a great entrance

“For a truly graceful entrance, check your self-consciousness at the door. There is an ease that comes from being comfortable in your own skin. Hesitation can mar even the most elegant premiere. If you don’t know a soul, head toward a person near the back of the room. Chances are you’ll find a friendly face along the way.”

–Nancy Friday, author of Our Looks, Our Lives

Work the room

“You first must learn to overcome mingle-phobia. Psych yourself up to enter a room. Then make your move. If you don’t know anyone at the gathering, walk up to a group, smile widely, introduce yourself and say: ‘I don’t know a soul at this party. Can I join you guys?’ This usually gets a warm, sympathetic reception, and people chat you up immediately.”

–Miss Mingle (a.k.a. Jeanne Martinet), author of The Art of Mingling

Recover gracefully

“If you forget someone’s name: Remember that this kind of thing happens to people all the time, confident or not, so don’t be too embarrassed. First, admit to forgetting the person’s name. Second, slap the palm of your hand to your forehead in mock horror and say, ‘I can’t even remember my own mother’s name!’ At this point, the other person will surely remind you of their name. Then simply say, ‘I promise never to forget it again,’ and move on.”

–Etiquette expert Letitia Baldrige, author of Letitia Baldrige’s Complete Guide to the New Manners for the ’90s

Tell a great story

“Avoid phrasing your story as a joke. People think when they tell stories they have to get to a punch line, but punch lines are not in themselves amusing. You should have a deep personal interest or investment in your story — it should be either profoundly moving or profoundly funny. The story needn’t have happened to the storyteller, so long as the storyteller is also deeply moved by what she’s recounting. Remember which details are important. Gesturing is fine so long as it comes about naturally, but a good story well told and full of conviction needs little adornment. The words are what’s most important.”

–Malachy McCourt, author of A Monk Swimming

Stay calm

“If you have a lot of nervous energy you need to get rid of, do a quick burst of aerobic activity, like jumping jacks. Then get focused. Find a quiet spot to be alone and take a few breaths before you walk into the room. Then take another slow, relaxing breath once you’ve entered and taken your place in front of everyone. You won’t lose their attention — when you’re standing right in front of them, that’s impossible. Then smile. People buy things from and listen to people who smile at them.”

–Valerie Adami, director of programming at Weist-Barron School of Television Acting in New York

Ask for a raise

“Casually say to your boss at the start of the day, ‘I’d love a minute of your time today,’ letting him or her choose when you will meet. When you’re face-to-face say, ‘I really enjoy this job and working for you’ and list the specific contributions you’ve made recently. Then take the plunge: ‘Do you think you might consider giving me a raise?’ Don’t speak in specific numbers unless asked. End the conversation with ‘Please don’t feel pressure to answer right away.’ This lets your boss feel in control and perhaps especially generous when she offers you that raise in a couple of days’ time.”

–Lauren Wiesenthal, partner at the New York legal search consulting firm Corrao, Miller, Rush, & Wiesenthal

Be a good haggler

“The key to getting a fair deal is to first do your homework. Pick up an issue of Consumer Reports, talk to friends, look for any information that will give you the inside scoop on what the item you want really is. Always ask for a little more or offer a little less than your limit. If you have doubts, take a night to think it over.”

–Michael Donaldson, author of Negotiating for Dummies

Overcome fear

“Fear is a lot like pain — it’s your guide to pinpointing what’s bothering you. After I blew out my knee in a crash while training for a competition, jumps scared me, so I had to learn to replace my fear with a strategy. The best way I’ve found is to rehearse the situation in your head and mentally walk your way up to the point where you feel the fear most intensely. Next, shift to something very calming (for me, it’s a beach at sunset) and as you do a mental run-through, breathe out, physically relaxing your body. Then imagine yourself going through the motions flawlessly while your body and mind are relaxed. In essence, you’re conditioning your mind to replace fear with success.”

–Picabo Street, Olympic skiing champion

Don’t be intimidated

“Stop all the negative thoughts in your head, then visualize yourself pushing the other person 100 feet away from you. Imagine him or her as being very small and in black and white. This will immediately reverse any feeling of inferiority. Once you’ve mentally laid the groundwork, you want to be the first person to say something so that the conversation is in your control. Don’t say anything competitive or defensive; instead, ask something personal like ‘How is your family?’ Be sincere and it will probably throw off the other person’s power-tripping ways.”

–Anankha K. Chandler, certified hypnotherapist and author of Therapist in a Box: Emotional Healing

Tell a joke

“Never announce that you’re about to tell a joke; it sets expectations too high and there’s a better chance you’ll fall flat. The joke should stem naturally from the conversation, so that people get sucked in before they even know you’re telling it. Whether you’re telling something that happened to a friend or something that happened last month, always say something like ‘on the way over here’ instead and make them believe it just happened to you. People will get more emotionally invested when it’s more immediate. If your joke brings the house down, don’t press your luck with another one. Always leave them wanting a little bit more.”

–Tom Hertz, comedian and Emmy Award-winning writer for Dennis Miller Live

Being a bitch doesn’t mean being rude, hateful, or manipulative. It’s about holding your own and standing up for yourself. These days, it may just be what your relationship—and your guy—need.

Why Men Love Bitches

When Diane, 26, a training specialist, learned that her longtime crush, Mario, 28, hooked up with her office mate Sara, she was perplexed. “I don’t know what he sees in her,” Diane says. “This dating diya in the office, you can’t seem to mess with her—but she’s well-respected and she gets things done.”

Welcome The Bitch—the woman who’s strong, self-assured, fiercely independent, feisty, no-nonsense, and definitely dating, especially when dealing with men. These days, we’re just reeling from the discovery that it may be this type of woman that can hook a guy, and keep him wrapped around her finger, leaving nice girls in the dust.

“No woman is all sweetness,” celebrated French beauty Juliette Recamier once said. Niceness can be self-defeating. And, let’s face it, nice girls tend to be taken for granted. Take Pauline, 27, a finance officer. She was patient enough to wait and live out an on-and-off again, no-commitment-type of relationship with Roland, while he tried to figure out his life and what he wanted. The result? After two years of stringing her along, Roland decided he still wasn’t ready for anything major like a true committed relationship. In the meantime, Pauline wasted two years of her life—which she could have used up to scout for someone new—and more deserving.
It varies with every case, says Glen, 30, an art director. “I guess some Pinoy men would go for the conservative, masungit, nice-girl type,” he says. “Personally, I like a woman who’s aggressive and can stand up for herself. Maarte and clingy turns me off. It can stress a man out.”

What Attracts Him

What is it about that feisty attitude that men find so magnetic?
Men are highly competitive, and it’s inborn. “They love the thrill of the chase,” says Sherry Argov, author of the bestselling tome, Why Men Love Bitches. “The cat and mouse chase that women find maddening is very exciting to men.” Argov explains that more often than not, this is the scenario: “For a woman, the objective is often a committed relationship. For men, the road trip to the destination is often the most fun.”
“Men like challenges,” affirms Fred, 30, an illustrator. “If they go out of their way to see you, it’s just another feather in their cap, another accomplishment.”
It is a biological fact. In the same way that men thrived on being the hunter, men today relish the thought of exerting some effort pursuing something—and getting rewarded for it. “The Bitch understands that when a man wants something, he’ll go after it, and going after it makes him want it even more,” she says.
Most men, explains Argov, are also almost always scared of losing their freedom. A bitch seems more attractive to men because she’s a little more aloof, is more focused on herself, and hence has little interest in taking away his freedom. The Bitch is self-centered in a way: She chooses to develop and nurture herself first, before any one else—and focuses on herself, rather than on a guy.

If You’re a Woman Who’s Interested in Learning How to Control Men with Various Mind Games and Other Manipulative Tactics, or If You’re a Man Who’s Interested in Learning What Kinds of Mind Games to Look Out For, Then This Book is a Must Read for You!
I recently read a book titled “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov that I both liked and disliked. Her usage of the word “Bitches” is more sarcastic than anything as it’s suppose to reflect upon women who are strong, smart, free thinkers and independent. I liked this book because I enjoy learning some of the secret thoughts that many women have because this helps me to more accurately judge my compatibility with various women. I disliked this book because I feel it’s geared towards teaching women how to manipulate, fool and control men and their relationships with men.

In my opinion, it’s vitally important for both men and women who put forth a genuine effort to establish quality relationships to understand the various mind games that many people/singles play. Why? Because this helps kind, decent and mature minded people with a healthy degree of self-respect to protect themselves from those who operate with selfish and/or malicious motivations and agendas.

That said, I would urge any single and evolved man of strong moral character who’s interested in a quality relationship to avoid and/or reject any woman who’s demonstrating the tactics presented in this book. I vehemently believe that being in a relationship with a woman who demonstrates these tactics would yield an unhealthy level of melodrama. Because of how this book tries to teach women to be basically self-centered to an extremely selfish degree, I think being in a relationship with such a woman would yield a very lopsided relationship that’s mostly geared towards HER satisfaction alone.

If You’re a Woman Who’s Interested in Learning How to Control Men with Various Mind Games and Other Manipulative Tactics, or If You’re a Man Who’s Interested in Learning What Kinds of Mind Games to Look Out For, Then This Book is a Must Read for You!
And likewise for single and evolved women of strong moral character who are interested in a quality relationship, I’d urge you to acknowledge and comprehend the content of this book because in doing so, not only might it improve your knowledge and understanding of how other “lesser” women
operate; it might help you to quickly see the difference between primitive and evolved men. Primitive men will not likely pick up on a woman demonstrating the tactics defined in this book, but an evolved man of strong character and caliber will see right through it and HE’s more likely to be the man who’s up to your standards. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that a man being up to your standards automatically defines your relational compatibility with him, because it simply doesn’t.

I’m a firm believer that equality and balance are two required components of a healthy relationship. But in my opinion, this book is completely geared towards the woman calling all the shots in her relationship. I urge you to ask yourself, if it takes manipulation and control for a person to enjoy their relationship with their partner, are they really “Relationship Material” to begin with?

There was one facet of the book that I really did like though. Sherry Argov refers to women, who let men continually walk all over them and disrespect them, as “The Nice Girl”. Though I don’t feel this particular label actually applies to such woman, I do feel that women such as this need to learn to step up their levels of self-respect and self-esteem and this book might help them to see how it is that (some) men have been taking advantage of them accordingly.

“Why Men Love Bitches” was written in a straight forward manor without a lot of flashy vocabulary that will make you constantly reach for your dictionary. Sherry Argov explains her points in an easy to understand fashion without making you have to read between the lines. But I must reemphasize that if you’re seeking a QUALITY and HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, this book might not be of your best interest to read. But if you’re looking for refined ways of manipulating, fooling and controlling your partner, then this book is right up your alley.