We are obsessed with problems and negativity towards others, caused by judgment, gossip, comparison and competition, lack of appreciation or justify our negativity toward others.

There is great deal of negativity within our culture through media, ads, politics and conversations that impact us on a personal level. Additionally self-criticism is the most insidious and damaging type of negativity.

Focus On The Good Stuff – The Power Of Appreciation by Mike Robbins, designs 5 principles to empower you with new ideas, perspective that lead to greater appreciation, success and fulfillment in your life, your relationship, and your communities:

Principle 1. Be grateful

Gratitude shapes our attitude and perspective, and attracts abundance. You may list gratitude in your journal, or sharing with others what you grateful, such as your loved ones, family, stranger, or your car, you favor book, or someone’s complement.

Principle 2. Choose positive thoughts and feelings

Optimism impacts on physical health. The positive emotions have a more expansive and creative quality to them, they bring us closer to each other, help us to attract positive results into our lives:

• Write down a clear idea about what you want
• Think about that you want
• See it happening exactly as you want it to happen
• Feel the emotions that your associate with being, doing or having what you want
• Let go of your attachment to the outcome of your visualization, trust that the universe will provide what you want
• Create “vision boards” – text or images symbolizing the goals and dreams. Look at them, think about them
• Surround yourself with positive images, sounds and people
• Upgrade your thoughts

Principle 3. Use positive words

• Speak with integrity
• Avoid using word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others
• Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love
• Positive communication
• Acknowledge other people’s existence.
• Listen to people
• Speak positive about others
• Speak yourself in a positive way

Principle 4. Acknowledge others

• Be genuine and speak from your heart
• Be spontaneous and present
• Say what you mean and mean what you say
• Thank people in personal way
• Praise people and let them know their positive impact on you
• Acknowledge people for no apparent reason

Principle 5. Appreciate yourself

This builds self confident, improving health, and it is a strong foundation for appreciating others, create positive attraction and fulfillment. How to appreciate yourself:

• Accept yourself just as you are
• Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
• Focus on your strengths
• Celebrate yourself and your success
• Acknowledge yourself all the time

A fabulous relationship is not a result of hours, days or years of hard working, it’s rather small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship says Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health.

Most of us believe that the main reason relationships break up is conflict, financial issues, communication problems, or sexual incompatibility. Are we to rigid these days, not enough tolerant towards our partners?

Understand Each Other’s Needs

Dr. Orbuch thinks that the main reason is frustration, day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts. “To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. “And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations,” Orbuch says.

Show Him Some Love

In our society, women are complimented from work, family and friends. “I love your hair”, “Sexy dress”…And men don’t get that recognition. Have you heard any comment to men about their sexy pants or hair at work? Men need as much appreciation as women. Give theme affirmation, show they are appreciated, respected, and loved. Men rely on that attention from their women. Luckily, there’s another payoff to your flattery: He’s more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.

Talk 10 minutes a day

Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything — except for kids, responsibilities, or chores, Orbuch’s research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners. And knowing your spouse intimately isn’t always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer. You’ll get to know each other’s inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.

Focus on the Good

Fixing what’s wrong is not the best way to work out relationship. “The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage,” Orbuch says. “That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction.” This doesn’t mean that you can’t feel — or talk about — anything negative, but “pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale,” she says. “If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad.” The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you’ll transform your marriage into one that is truly great.