Fooling around with your male coworker is like having an affair your neighbor; so very convenient, yet still looming with danger (potentially awkward run-ins, forced togetherness). Luckily, the benefits of this excellently illicit activity far outweigh the pitfalls, especially it provides a welcomed release from the over-caffeinated late-night brainstorming sessions. Just follow these rules of play and you’ll come out the satisfied women in your high-stakes game of office nookies.
Intra-office propositioning takes some planning, but once you’ve found an equally interested counterpart, your course of action should be swift and direct. It’s vital to choose safe heaven surroundings, like the office-party time or even the hidden copy room. If you prefer a less direct method of communication, then a well-timed text message can help you arrange a post-meeting rendezvous.
Be aware of jealous competitors, your office is full of people ready to take you down at the slightest hint of vulnerability. Don’t assume that any of your officemates are completely trustworthy; as a rule, and especially if your office has a no-fraternization policy, it’s better to keep your endeavour to yourself.
Before you engage in hot and steamy copy room sex, a tip, though: figure out if your office is under video surveillance, and if it is, some whipped cream will dismantle said surveillance system so your indiscretions don’t follow you to the Board room couple of years down the road.
Displays of affection in the office will ruin your office rep faster than admitting you’ve been running a money laundering operation out of your cubicle. People will quickly catch on to your stolen goods and in fact, it’s probably better to avoid your partner in crime as much as possible while in the office, and never, ever show up together in the morning holding hands and sharing a bagel.
Prepare yourself for War if things go south. If the partner is your boss, well played, if not, ready yourself for the onslaught of nasty looks and smirks, if and when you either get a promotion or get canned.
All good things must come to an end, but that in no way guarantees that most things come to a good end. You must resist the urge to talk smack and spread rumours about what a jerk he/she is. Not only will this method of attack completely backfire – you’ll end up looking like an obsessed psycho Attempt to not completely freak out by channeling your energy into kicking ass on your next project, or take your mind off of unpleasant things by seeking comfort in the arms of someone from another department.
Either way, you’ll always have your broken desk lamp and artful Xeroxes to remind you of how fun it was while it lasted.
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