Rule #1: Being Mysteries
Maintaining a little mystery creates intrigue, which will keep those in your circle hanging on your every word. It’s for this reason that you are often standing here in a Mona Lisa smile while the rest of folks spill their entire mental file cabinet to everyone, everywhere.
Confident women know that being nice is sexy — but allowing people to walk all over you makes you look pathetic. So wipe that “welcome” sign off of your forehead, stop bending over backwards to make a coworker like you, or twisting you value system in knots to appease a man. People respect those who maintain some boundaries, and it’s human nature to walk all over doormats like people-pleaser.
Stylish women know that only boring people gossip. Your life is far too interesting and fulfilling to sit on the sidelines giving a play-by-play of another person’s existence, talking about Brad and Angelina like the inside scoop on everyone. Stylish women know that men find gossips catty and insecure and that the rest of the world thinks a chatterbox can’t be trusted.
Being uptight isn’t sexy, so lay back and stop following the rules everywhere from the boardroom to the bedroom. Having manners is one thing, but if you have to finish your to-do list before you get done, there’s a good chance your mate feels a little suffocated.
Your body is a temple. If you want anyone to worship it, you need to shine up that altar by taking care of it! It’s time to start exercising and eating food that’s good for you. Health-conscious women maintain their bodies without obsessing. They know those vitamins, dental appointments and a walks on the treadmill do more than make them pretty; they keep their body parts fit and strong. After all, nothing is sexier than good health. And besides, getting in-tune with your body will boost your confidence and take your sex sessions to a whole new level.
Alluring ladies know that human beings want to feel loved, appreciated and respected, which is why they always give those in their company their undivided attention. They maintain eye contact, shake hands, hug friends and actually listen; they don’t just wait for their chance to talk. That’s why everyone who crosses paths with them feel as though they are the most important person in the room.
Every woman has insecurities. But confident women don’t let them hinder their ability to maintain healthy relationships. If your low self-esteem is holding you back, it’s time for a little self-evaluation. In the beginning people might want to help and appease you but the needy act gets old fast. Men look for partners who can stand on their own two feet. And friends don’t appreciate having to explain their motives every other day.
Drama makes for a great movie, but it doesn’t work in the real world. Plus, it makes everyone from bosses to boyfriends want to run for the hills! Sophisticated women like value their reputations and reserve outbursts for behind closed doors — and only when truly necessary.
Self-assured women know that men don’t just like one type of woman. They also act as their own PR rep and never put themselves down. Instead, they highlight their best attributes and turn perceived flaws into trademarks a la Jennifer’s bum or Barbra’s nose. These women relish in the fact that they are one of a kind and never waste their time and energy trying to be a carbon copy of someone else.
Playing the “All about Me” game is a quick way to wind up alone—so take some time and check in with the people in your life. A thoughtful woman surprises her guy with flowers or a night on the town, calls a friend just to ask how her day is going and checks in with your sister to see how her interview went. A simple “How was your day?” shows you care about someone other than yourself and can make a lasting impression.
Get over the grade-school worries: Being smart is not a ticket to nerdy-ville — it’s hot! Real appeal starts in the mind, so women with that “special something” — like Claire Danes — would never dumb themselves down in order to impress a man. They share their opinions on the war in Iraq, or S & P500 and aren’t ashamed of their PhD — or the fact they earn twice as much money as their date.
A woman with a sense of humor is not only attractive — her lighthearted attitude also works to her advantage: Laughing puts people at ease and makes you more relatable, which will make you more attractive to everyone, from friends and lovers to co-workers and neighbors.
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