How Are We Seen?
Our view of ourselves seldom comports accurately with the way we are seen by others. Many people see themselves as kind, reliable and compassionate, even these laudable characteristics are not uniformly distributed in the population. Usually it turns out there will be only a minority who behave well when people response to group crises, such as natural disasters, life-threaten danger or financial challenges and economy downturns.
Our desire to live comfortable in the world is impeded by a need to disguise our real impulses and behaviors. The marital wreckage that flows from infidelity, the unwillingness to give others the affection that we would like to receive from them, the general disparity between what we say and what we do, all contribute predictably to the demise of our loved ones.
Damage From Parenthood
When people mention their parents without admiration, there is hypocrisy of parenthood does the most damage. The disparity between word and action is on its most egregious display in families, where it is most difficult to disguise what it is that we truly believe in. Alcoholism, verbal, physical and sexual abuse; neglect; and selfishness are heartbreaking in their frequency in the life stories of people who are struggling to do better which their own children than their parents did with them.
How We See Others
Is it too much to ask of ourselves to move through life inflicting as little damage on others as possible? The answer is no. It does no good to argue that we have done the best that we could if those who were there have a dissenting view, same to our parents that they have done their best for us based what they could and what they knew that time. It also matters little whether we damage others unintentionally or with malice aforethought.
What other people have done or do, have absolutely nothing to do with us. We must believe parenthood is a sacred trust, all these judgment of our loved ones must be taken to our graves, or simply forgive what others have done for damage.
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