What we put consume for our bodies affects everything, emotionally and physically including our sexual desire. Empty calories and fatty treats just don’t cut it in the boudoir, as poor eating contributes to an expanding waistline and crumby sheets kill the sexy mood. Saturated fats and sugar zap the body’s stores of zinc, mainly a key player in all things amorous. Zinc improves sex drive, and heightens the senses of taste and smell.

Intimacy promotes both physical and psychological well being. From these intimate attachment a person draws his strength and enjoyment of life and, through what he contributes, he gives strength and enjoyment to others. These are matters about which current science and traditional wisdom are at one.

Medical research found people who are in close relationships are more likely survive health challenges such as heart attacks and major surgery and less likely to develop disease such as cancer and respiratory infections.

Survey discovers that 1/4 of US adults have felt extremely lonely at least one within the previous 2 weeks. Fear is a powerful motivator of behavior that seldom takes us where we want to go. Depression is a “safe” position that many people, miserable as they may fee, are afraid to relinquish. While it is true that people with serious anxiety disorders appear, in many cases, to have biological predisposition to these conditions, it is also true that anxiety can be learned. Children growing up in families in which one or both parents exhibit a high level of apprehension are often vulnerable themselves to unreasonable fears.

It is the consciousness of our mortality that marks us as human, that forces us to confront the inevitable loss of ourselves and those we love, to contemplate the great mystery of life with a determination to live as well as we can for as long as we can, unafraid.

In many ways it is a miracle that we can tolerate the uncertainties of life without yielding to anxiety or depression. That most of us do so most of the time is both an example of constructive denial and an acknowledgment that the alternative, which is to live in fear, rains life of pleasures it contains.

Our most destructive interpersonal anxiety is our fear of intimacy. Some people will do anything to avoid the risks that come with opening ouself filly to another human being, intentionally to avoid being hurt. Those who have been disappointed in love are preoccupied with proteching themselfves from further rejection. Loneliness is often preferred over the vulnerability of closeness.

New aspect of intimacy provides us powerful insight to develop our strength and better connect to other human being.

Different expression of intimacy

Defining intimacy in terms of purely physical contact, we explore the countless ways in which humans come into physical contact with one another, from a simple pat on the back to the most erotic sexual embrace. The desire for intimacy is the desire to share one’s innermost self with another.

Intimacy is universally accepted among all cultures. Asian especially Japanese seem to rely on friendship to gain intimacy, whereas American seek it more in romantic relationship with a mate. Asians who tend to be less focused on personal feelings such as passion and are more concerned with the practical as aspects of social attachments appear less vulnerable to the kind of disillusionment that leads to the crumbing of relationships.

 Expanding definition of intimacy

Intimacy can be expended to friendship, family and community, as well as nature. We can connect to a tree with intimacy, or connect ocean wave, sound of birds and colorful flower…

Dependence on others versus self-reliance 

We must give up dependence on others, expecting other to give and to love. We must love ourselves first, developing inner peace, inner love and inner intimacy.

Connect with another human being

We must look at any human being from more positive angle and aspect, that immediately crates a feeling affinity, a kind of connectedness, with less apprehension, less fear. When you approach others with thoughts of compassion, it will automatically reduce fear and allow openness with others, creates a positive, friendly atmosphere and the possibility for receiving affection or a positive response from the other person.

After all, we all live in one universe, as we are all connected. You just need to have intention to it and discover one’s true self, and you will see a new world is just waiting for you to love.

I often hear people talk about the reasons why their marriages don’t work out, “she dropped the ball right after the wedding,” or “he’s changed after we got married.” Do vows which behind us to become our worst selves? Is unconditional love and passion finite between men and women?

There is a famous Chinese novel called “Castle”, describes marriage as a castle – people who are in want to get out, and people are out want to get in.

The best seller author Gordon Livingston pointed out, that the expectation that we grow up with, that we will find someone with whom we can form a pair-bond that has all sorts of practical advantages, from tax benefit to the division of labor that makes raising children easier. For many of us, marriage also presents an end to a prolonged search and a relief from the anxious, rejection-laden territory occupied by single people.

The advantage of being single – independence, flexibility, or multiple lovers – has been suggested in opposite by online dating, church, government or our Hollywood industry – everyone finds love in marriage. So we are seduced by romantic ideas that marriage represents: We have found the person who will complete us, someone takes on  this ambitious task.

We are inexperienced how the world works and what we can reasonably expect from other people. “No one else can provide unconditional love like our mothers,” or “is our expectation too high?”

Soon we are surprised by 60% divorce rate or second marriages have a higher failure rate than first one.

Dr. Livingston advised how to understand and achieve successful marriage:

Fundamental questions about readiness for marriage

• Is it possible for us to love another adult as much as we love ourselves?
• How can we know whether we have the ability to do so?
• The best indications are how we behave in their presence
• Can we truthfully say that we would never do anything intentionally to hurt them?
• How does this other person make us feel about ourselves?
• Are we at our best when we are with them?

Evaluation another person’s capacity

Then we evaluate the other person’s capacity for love, key qualities such as kindness, willingness to give of oneself. In the context of a truly loving relationship the line between giving and receiving becomes blurred and the needs and desires of the other person rise to the level of our own.

Attachment in marriage

It is worth noting that what to passes for attachment in most marriages more closely resembles a contract in which our willingness to give is related to our perception of how much we getting from the other person, such as a calculation requires a lot of score keeping: bargaining around sex, it is your turn for grocery shopping… These sentiments indicates the relationship is in trouble.  Remember that we are entitled to receive only as much as we are prepared to give.

A good marriage is easy provided that both people have been astute in the selection process. If we choose partner with ample reserves of kindness and a willingness to place us at the center of his or her life, and if we have sufficiently cultivated those virtues in ourselves, we can refute the “hard work” school marriage, put down our picks and shovels, and partake of the endless pleasure of renewable love.

Power of musky cologne

Just like the perfume she is waring arouses you, she will be turned on by your classy cologne come along with your charming smile. Smell is the strongest of the five senses when it comes to sexual functioning for two reasons: First, since anything musky mimics testosterone, it’ll kick her libido into high gear. Baby powder can have a similar effect by activating her “scent print,” which links babies to procreation. Second, because smell, sex and memory centers share close quarters in the brain, the scent of arousal leaves the most lasting impression. The second she gets a whiff of your musky cologne, she’ll be transported back to the last time she smelled it on your body.

Gentle kiss and caress

Kiss her gently, start from her eyes to her lips, ears and neck that makes her feel special. Touch on the right side of a woman’s spine makes her melt more so than the left side, perhaps because the left side of the brain controls her right side and it’s the logical side that can talk her into anything. Whether you’re kissing her there, stroking her or gently teasing her with a tickler, just make sure your moves are curvy. With oil on your hand massaging her with tenderness, will make significantly more intense than a straight touch.

Take care of her feet

In Chinese tradition, women are served a bucket of warm water to warm up her feet, following a foot massage prior to intimacy time with their men. Warm feet do more to make a woman physically comfortable than just about anything else — even more so if you want her completely naked, which is not likely to happen if she’s cold, even with the lights off. What most of you probably didn’t realize was the importance of warm feet in increasing the likelihood of her experiencing an orgasm. According to Dutch scientists from the University of Groningen, the odds are increased by 30%. Maybe leaving the socks on isn’t such a bad idea after all. If you want to try something sexier, a foot massage with a warming gel can do wonders, especially if you concentrate on the pads of her toes and the webbing in between, which are linked to her nether zones according to reflexology charts. Moreover, lips, hands, feet, and genitals get the lion’s share of brain space, where feet and genital centers are neighbors, making them share sexy information.

Concentrate on her G-spot

When zoning in between her legs, just as you appreciate her indulging more than just your package, she’d like you to go for more than her hood ornament. If you run your tongue around her clitoral head, concentrating on the 10 o’ clock and 2 o’clock marks on either side, and then gently slip your tongue beneath the hood, you’ll have her moaning from the intensity. While bang-on is too sensitive, those two sweet spots will make sure that she takes a licking and keeps on ticking, thanks to the bulbs hidden just beneath. The best way to pull off this maneuver is to have her straddle your face as you lay comfortably on your back. She’ll get to lean into the headboard so she can drive the action with ease, since you’ve put her in the driver’s seat.

Climax trickery

Time for you to take your tricks for a test drive. With all that attention, her skin will be flushed, her pupils dilated, parts of her shaking, and those she can steady, she’ll be pushing into you — until she’s done and can’t take anymore, that is. Now that’s how to make her orgasm for real and, trust us, you’ll be able to tell the difference.

“Men are like driving standard transmission – if you move through the gears in the right order, you will get where you want to go – and women are like baking a souffle – the outcome depends on the ingredients and the chef, sure, but it also depends on the reliability of the oven, the altitude, the humidity of the day… more variables, more variability.” Dr. Emily Nagoski said in her book The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms.

Evolutionarily, men are wired to spread their seed indiscriminately, while women are wired to cultivate; psychologically, inside every man is an insecure little boy who needs constant sexual approval; behaviorally, men respond to simple cues like visual stimulation, while women respond to complex emotional cues.

Male sexuality is viewed as simple, basic, natural instinct, female are much more complex with addition of mother nature, seeking for strong father hood for babies. Female sexual brain contains tons of dials and instruments, and there’s sophisticated calibration going on.

But are men really that simple? And are women really so different? In many cases, women certainly can have sex like men, women are indeed doing just like these single women in Sex and City. Plenty of women who don’t like to cuddle after sex, and plenty of men who do. There are also lots of women who love casual sex, and plenty of men who want sex to be part of an emotionally committed relationship. There are plenty of male “souflees.”

But if women can have sex like men, then men are also capable of having sex like women: with complex motivations. For example, men have done so simply for the sex or in the heat of the moment, but many of them cheat for more complex reasons – they were bored, emotionally disconnected in their relationship, depressed, or seeking passion.

And while it would seem that, in our age of Anthony Weiner, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and John Edwards, men are ruled by the passions of their penis, there are actually just as many men with low sexual desire as there are women.

So is female sexuality is really more complicated than male sexuality? It depends on the individual woman, and how she’s using sex at the time; same goes for the men. There are times when sex (and our desires) are simple and times when they’re more complex.

So is your sexuality like a light switch that goes on and off, or like a dimmer or volume knob that operates on a spectrum? More than likely, whether you’re a man or a woman, it’s both: You can be both switch or knob depending upon the context.

And sometime you’re probably a complex souflee. Women have sex for more than 200 reasons, ranging from love to pure pleasure to a sense of duty to curiosity to curing a headache. Why do men have sex? Can you count the reasons?

Long ago, Princess Fiona was looking for her true love. Has she found it?

Was he the Prince Charming or the high tower rescuer Shrek? Who is her true love?

What about you? Have you found your true love yet? Someone who adores you, and appreciate who you are, and respect you as the way you are?

If you see that person has the following  traits, characteristics and behavior,  he or she is your true love:

• Misses you when you are away
• Cooks you chicken soup when you are ill
• Drops and picks you up from the airport
• Hugs you just out of pure passion
• Loves you unconditionally
• Kisses you hello
• Calls you for no reason
• Stands beside you
• Supports your dream
• Helps you find your way
• Encourages you to keep going
• Sends you love notes
• Sees the best in you
• Listens to you without judgment
• Tells you the truth
• Celebrates your successes
• Reaches for you in the middle of the night
• Applauds your courage
• Enjoys your eyes and smile
• Chooses to see your greatness when you cannot
• Laughs with you
• Dries your tears
• Pushes you to be more
• Does the little things
• Accepts you for who you are
• Cares for you
• Wants you to love you more than them
• Admires your power
• Doesn’t try to change you
• Gives you the best surprises
• Believes in you

Have you wonder where your relationship is going, what direction you are heading to? “Is he my Mr. Right?” or “Can I spend the rest of my life with him?”

Based on the study by Randi Gunther, the author of Relationship Saboteurs and When Love Stumbles, there are certain characteristics you should be looking for right off the bat that will tell you the likelihood of your relationship lasting. Read on to find out if you and/or your significant other fit the traits.

Physical desirability

“It is not limited to just sex appeal. Physical desirability is an overarching feeling people have when they look at someone who physically intrigues them… You will know when you are attracted to someone’s physical characteristics because you are entranced by the way they look to you.”

Generosity

“It is not no much their offering of gifts, but their willingness to give that matters. Generous people look for ways to care, often before they are asked. They pay attention to what others want.”

Kind-ship

“It takes a lot of energy to maintain close and intimate relationships, and these people make it a high priority… You will know when you are with a successfully social person when you feel automatically included in their personal circle.”

Compassion

“Compassionate people don’t miss a beat when their lovers are in trouble. They are especially available when things are not going so well… You will know you’re with a compassionate person when you feel comfortable being vulnerable and don’t feel you have to cover your faults.”

Openness

“They don’t seem to worry about making mistakes because they accept their own faults, and are eager to know how others see them… They just have a strong sense of self that is not easily threatened, and don’t need to cover when unexpectedly exposed.”

Integrity

“Integrity and trust are linked. Two people who believe in the same ethics can trust each other’s motives and behaviors… You will know when you are with a person of integrity when they are comfortable with what they believe, but are openly interested in your views, even if they are different. The relationship may not work if you can’t share the same ethic, however, you will not be overruled.”

Humor

“People who see the humor in situations, or laugh just as easily at themselves, are easy to be with… The loss of a sense of humor is the most telling clue that a relationship may be in distress… It is a way of lightening life’s challenges so that sorrow is lessened and joy is increased.”

Passion

“Passion is energy, focus, and intense commitment to a behavior or person. They care deeply. They love with abandon. Life is for living to the fullest and the greatest punishment is the inability to feel.”

Confidence

“They take risks, and aren’t afraid of losing as long as they learn to do it better the next time.Confident people are resilient… They mean what they say and do what they promise… They’re open to new experiences and don’t seem to worry about embarrassment or loss.”

Approaching a women or men a is not an easy undertaking for some people are, but once the conversation has been established, how to safely throw in some flirting questions?

Good flirty questions to ask on a date will keep the conversation interesting, but we got to be careful that things don’t turn weird and outright embarrassing. Sexy questions will tell someone a lot about yourself, and should hopefully help tear down the psychological wall especially during initial conversations. They should inject some fun, excitement and curiosity and hopefully encourage your partner in opening up about themselves.

There is a fine line to be walked by increasing the spiciness of the conversation, so don’t start asking about sexual favors before bringing up the bedroom. Men are easy, they can talk about most subjects out of the gate while women need more time to warm up and get to know their partner first. So men, be sure to take it easy, be flirting but if the questions make you uncomfortable, you probably took it a step too far.

A good way to loosen up the conversation, is to turn the questions into a game. Try to ask open questions that leads a partner to loosen up and tell about themselves and avoid closed ones that lead to yes or no answers.

Here are some flirty questions to get you started on your next date:

What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
Describe your favorite kiss you’ve ever had?
What’s your favorite color lingerie?
What color panties are you wearing?
Do you prefer ice cubes or hot wax?
Do you prefer strawberries with whipped cream or chocolate?
What’s your sexiest article of clothing?
Where would you like me to touch you more?
What sexual act feels the best?
What one word would describe the most pleasurable night you’ve had?
Describe the perfect kiss.
What’s your perfect date?
If you could take your date anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
Do you like men/women who make the first move?
What are some nicknames you’d like your honey to call you?
Whats the farthest you’ve gone outside of a relationship?
Whats the farthest you’ve gone in a relationship?
Whats your dream future?
Whats the biggest turn on in a date?
What would you like to be called?
What is love at first sight to you? Do you believe in it?
What do you think is your best feature?
What would you do for a romantic anniversary?
Where is your favorite place to be touched?
Would or have you ever had sex with an unshaven partner?
Where is your dream place to make love?
Whats the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?
Do you like to be on top or bottom better?
Would you rather me lick whip cream or chocolate off of you?
Do you like to get your hair pulled during love making?
Do you have any weak spots that i could bite at?
Would you ever watch porn with me?
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Be Happy

It goes without saying that sex can make you happy and content, but a paper in the Archives of Sexual Behavior takes this idea one step further. Based on a study of 300 women that associated condom use with depression, researchers concluded that women who never used condoms were the least depressed, while those women who constantly used condoms were the most depressed. One reason? The vagina may absorb the mood-boosting hormones and prostaglandins found in semen. It’s an captivating theory, but certainly no reason to advocate unguarded sex. Clearly, an unwanted pregnancy or STD would not enhance anyone’s happiness.

Stay in shape

Sex burns about five calories per minute on balance, depending upon your weight. Even engaging your partner in a hot kiss boosts the heart rate and metabolism which in turn increases caloric burn. In addition, researchers found that college students who had frequent sex had higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody that boosts the immune system. So, next time you’re not in the mood to work out, try getting busy instead.

Sex actually may help strengthen the heart because orgasm triggers the release of the hormone DHEA, which helps with circulation and arterial dilation. A current study in print in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that erectile dysfunction (ED) is often an early sign of inadequate cardiovascular health. Researchers followed about 2,300 men for an average of four years and found that men with ED had a 58 percent greater risk of coronary heart disease, while another study showed that men who had three or more orgasms per week experienced half of heart attacks and strokes as compared with those who had less frequent orgasms.

Look young and healthy

Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland did a long-term analysis of 3,500 people between the ages of 30 and 101 found that regular sex may cut down between four and seven years off your physical appearance. The researchers presented photos of the subjects to an neutral panel of judges who were asked to assume their ages. The candidates who were judged to be the youngest were also those who had the most sex. What’s the association between youthfulness and getting it on? In addition to boosting self-confidence and fearlessness, sex increases the production of human growth hormone, which is known to benefit muscle tone.

Reduce stress and live longer

Researchers at the University of Paisley in Scotland conducted a test with 46 men and women who were asked to give speeches to an audience who was told to act bored and disinterested. After the reading were over, the participants’ blood pressure was taken and those who reported having sex within the last two weeks had the lowest readings. For reasons that are still blurry regular sex may even add years to your life. A study published in the British Medical Journal found that men who had sex less than once per month were twice as likely to die in the next 10 years than those who had sex once per week. And guys aren’t the only ones to benefit: Researchers at Duke University found that women who claimed to enjoy their sex lives lived seven to eight years longer than women who were indifferent to sex.

Cuddle Quotes to remember

Come, cuddle your head on my shoulder, dear, Your head like the golden-rod, And we will go sailing away from here To the beautiful land of Nod. Wilcox, Ella Wheeler

My heart to you is given; Oh do give yours to me; We’ll lock them up together And throw away the key.

Frederick Saunders

Be careful how you live; you will be the only Bible some people ever read.

William J. Toms

I will not play tug o’ war. I’d rather play hug o’ war. Where everyone hugs instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins.

Shel Silverstein

With the tears a Land hath shed, Their graves should ever be green.

Thomas B Aldrich

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.

Alice Walker

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.

Victor Hugo

I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas, I’m afraid of the old ones.

John Cage

Change when it comes cracks everything open.

Dorothy Allison

I myself do nothing.the Holy Spirit accomplishes all through me.

William Blake

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Ogden Nash

All architecture is shelter, all great architecture is the design of space that contains, cuddles, exalts, or stimulates the persons in that space.

Shel Silverstein

There are in nature neither reports nor punishments, there are consequences.

Robert Ingersoll

The life long or short, its completeness depends on what it was based for.

David Starr Jordan