Intimacy promotes both physical and psychological well being. From these intimate attachment a person draws his strength and enjoyment of life and, through what he contributes, he gives strength and enjoyment to others. These are matters about which current science and traditional wisdom are at one.

Medical research found people who are in close relationships are more likely survive health challenges such as heart attacks and major surgery and less likely to develop disease such as cancer and respiratory infections.

Survey discovers that 1/4 of US adults have felt extremely lonely at least one within the previous 2 weeks. Fear is a powerful motivator of behavior that seldom takes us where we want to go. Depression is a “safe” position that many people, miserable as they may fee, are afraid to relinquish. While it is true that people with serious anxiety disorders appear, in many cases, to have biological predisposition to these conditions, it is also true that anxiety can be learned. Children growing up in families in which one or both parents exhibit a high level of apprehension are often vulnerable themselves to unreasonable fears.

It is the consciousness of our mortality that marks us as human, that forces us to confront the inevitable loss of ourselves and those we love, to contemplate the great mystery of life with a determination to live as well as we can for as long as we can, unafraid.

In many ways it is a miracle that we can tolerate the uncertainties of life without yielding to anxiety or depression. That most of us do so most of the time is both an example of constructive denial and an acknowledgment that the alternative, which is to live in fear, rains life of pleasures it contains.

Our most destructive interpersonal anxiety is our fear of intimacy. Some people will do anything to avoid the risks that come with opening ouself filly to another human being, intentionally to avoid being hurt. Those who have been disappointed in love are preoccupied with proteching themselfves from further rejection. Loneliness is often preferred over the vulnerability of closeness.

New aspect of intimacy provides us powerful insight to develop our strength and better connect to other human being.

Different expression of intimacy

Defining intimacy in terms of purely physical contact, we explore the countless ways in which humans come into physical contact with one another, from a simple pat on the back to the most erotic sexual embrace. The desire for intimacy is the desire to share one’s innermost self with another.

Intimacy is universally accepted among all cultures. Asian especially Japanese seem to rely on friendship to gain intimacy, whereas American seek it more in romantic relationship with a mate. Asians who tend to be less focused on personal feelings such as passion and are more concerned with the practical as aspects of social attachments appear less vulnerable to the kind of disillusionment that leads to the crumbing of relationships.

 Expanding definition of intimacy

Intimacy can be expended to friendship, family and community, as well as nature. We can connect to a tree with intimacy, or connect ocean wave, sound of birds and colorful flower…

Dependence on others versus self-reliance 

We must give up dependence on others, expecting other to give and to love. We must love ourselves first, developing inner peace, inner love and inner intimacy.

Connect with another human being

We must look at any human being from more positive angle and aspect, that immediately crates a feeling affinity, a kind of connectedness, with less apprehension, less fear. When you approach others with thoughts of compassion, it will automatically reduce fear and allow openness with others, creates a positive, friendly atmosphere and the possibility for receiving affection or a positive response from the other person.

After all, we all live in one universe, as we are all connected. You just need to have intention to it and discover one’s true self, and you will see a new world is just waiting for you to love.

I often have to deal with my boss on his anger issue, just like many of you experience difficult relationship with angry spouse. Dr. Gordon Livingston does not agree a standard assumption of modern psychology encourages anger as a path of open expression. I think raising anger is shifting fears to others selfishly, it manifests negative energy among those whom you love. Anger begets anger.

Battle begins with criticism, between couples, parents and children, employees and bosses. Reaction responds to an attack is irritation, defensiveness without rational behavior. There is no reasonable response when one is being attacked.

Absorbing Criticism

Most of people grew up under discipline and criticism by parents, teachers or tough coaches, the society suggests that children are agent of disorder and defiance. There are the assumptions that promote criticism and anger as the normal way to relate to people whom close to us, especially in military families and some of Asian culture like Japanese.

Two comment human emotions hidden behind anger are much harder to express: fear and unhappiness, as they are seen as weakness and hard to tolerate for long. One way to escape them is to get impulsive and allocate blame. If we cannot find target, we can indulge our outrage and assign responsibility for our misery to someone else.

We often wonder, this person whom we expected to love forever now annoys us. So behind the power struggles and hostility that are the most evident signs of our discontent lies the profound sadness of failed expectations. This is not what we sign up for.

What happens when we stop attacking or giving order to another person? You will be amazingly discovering an agreement can be reached to withhold criticism, emotion tone of the house shifts.

Keep control of your emotions

Next time when you are feeling outraged about something, especially if the target of your anger is someone in your life to whom you long to be closer, ask yourself if this feeling may not be a substitute for some sense of loss or powerlessness. Further more, if there might not be something you can do that will begin to transform the situation. If you cannot change the people around you, you can at least have the satisfaction of surprising them.

Have you in a difficult situation that you must address issues? One where numerous personality  collide? Or the stakes are high – whether involving money or a person’s reputation? Or someone, maybe lots of someones, may be embarrassed or worse? Before you say a single word or ocmpose that emai, consice several factors will help you get the fight the right message to the right place for the best result. For example, personality of those involved, culture of the environment school or work, appropriate timing of response, vehicle for your message and appropriate tone for you.   Your control the ebb and flow of your conversations with your communication style, you body language, tone of voice, and the words you use, all contribute to your overall impression, but your communication style is crucial to the mix.

First, good listening skills are essential to favorable impression functions.

And because when you learn to listen, you:

• Make others feel important
• Acquire information from which you can determine others’ needs, biases and stereotypes
• Give others confidence that you have heard and understood them
• Make appropriate comments
• Avoid boring others
• Encourage others to listen to you

There are 9 keys to effective listening:

• Listen for, and with, emotion
• Don’t interrupt
• Avoid distractions
• Be an objective listener – avoid emotional commitment/neediness/fear/defensiveness
• Be patient
• Actively participate
• Prompt others to talk
• Be direct and responsive
• Self-disclose

We all communicate everyday, every moment, with our loved ones, co-workers, clients, service providers. Your communication style is to show who you are.

To enhance your communication, there are several good tips and rules you can follow:

• Make your language understandable
• Use expressive words
• Use positive words
• Be liberal with our compliments
• Apologize when warranted
• Avoid assurances of honesty
• Don’t guess as if you knew
• Don’t exaggerate of engage in hyperbole
• Don’t be too defensive
• Avoid ingratiating behavior
• Never make promised you cant keep
• Avoid weasel words
• Don’t question other’s honesty
• Use kind, not harsh words
• Don’t show disrespect for others
• Don’t be judgmental
• Avoid unnecessary self-promotion

Be clear about the outcome you want. You may clarify about what you are thinking of feeling to get a better perspective about wht you want. sSo Bebore you communicate with anyone, gt a strong sense of you own intentions.

Jo-Ellan Dimitruis and Mark Mazzarella define leadership qualities in their book Put Your Best Foot Forward – Make a Great Impression by Taking Control of How Others See You.

What makes us turn to certain men and women for direction and inspiration? Leadership skills. It takes remarkable character and capability to be an inspirational and powerful leader.

Leadership quality does not mean authority, even they may be high achievers. The same characteristics of true leadership were identified repeatedly. We have all known those in positions of authority who do not possess the compass of leadership qualities. They may be high achievers, but they are not effective leaders in the true sense of the word, they are just bosses. When we speak of influential leaders, we also are not referring to politicians or CEOs alone, but millions of parents, teachers, little league coaches, small business owners and partners of all types who have found their compass.

The authors captures 15 characteristics of leadership.

1. Leaders are doers: leaders take charge, volunteer, they are proactive and out spoken. They take responsibility and risk, they contemplate but not obsess
2. Leaders require confidence, a calm natural, effortless control
3. Leaders lead, don’t push. They exercise it purposely to benefit not just themselves but those they lead without abusing authority for ego gratification.
4. Leaders watch over their flock and make them feel important and cared for. They don’t expect their followers to respond to their own needs but are sensitive to the needs of who follow them.
5. Leaders are open-minded.
6. Leaders support and empower others.
7. Leaders appreciate others, give praise and credit freely, they don’t steal others thunder.
8. Leaders trust others to succeed, knowing when and whom to trust and with what to trust them, and give them the incentive to strive for it.
9. Leaders show respect for others without acting superior to those they lead, they trust those who trust us and respect those who respect us.
10. Leaders show true personal character. Leadership is not acquired by authority but influence, which is obtained by trust in the fundamental character of a leader.
11. Leaders are enthusiastic, that energizes those and injects them with the leader’s commitment and dedication to his or her cause.
12. Leaders inspire others with their vision, creativity, innovation and imagination, engendering a positive future for the followers.
13. Leaders are capable. Intelligence, competence, confidence and professionalism is required to instill trust that a leader to guide those through both calm and tumultuous times.
14. Leaders lead by example.
15. Leaders build partnership. Leaders do not just sit stop the wagon pulled by other, but join them side by side to pull together toward a common goal

Hypnosis is the state of mind when you are under the influence of an external source that tries to ingrain thoughts in you, or retrieve parts of the memory that is stored in ones subconsciousness. Conversational hypnosis on the other side is a methodology that can be used on any person while they are still apprehensive short off them having any awareness of it.

By using obviously simple conversation joined with fine yet powerful mannerisms, cadences etc., the hypnotist is able to embed coercive thoughts into the subjects subconscious minds. Consequently, conversational hypnosis differs from other established forms of hypnosis because it is dependent upon both the subjects continued consciousness (as they do not go in to a sleep like trance) and their total obliviousness to the fact that they are being hypnotized.

Hypnosis

has picked up all sorts of weird associations over the years, from stage hypnotists to the media and even pure superstition. This is a great shame, because hypnosis is your only most effective tool for making difference upon your engrained thoughts, according to Carol Sommer, the author of Conversational Hypnosis: A Manual of Indirect Suggestion. However, conversational hypnosis is seen by some as controversial for accurately the same reason. Quite simply some feel it is unethical to hypnotise someone excluding their express consent and this situation is not accurately helped by the fact that some conversational hypnotists refer to the methodology as covert, or hidden hypnosis.

Ultimate Conversational Hypnosis

by Steve G. Jones, which is one of the best training courses at hand, rather plays upon this image. While it is perhaps understandable from a marketing perspective, in particular given Steve’s theatrical background, as anyone who really studies the fantastic material in Steve’s course will soon discover, conversational hypnosis is supposed to be far from being cheap magic, but rather a functioning set of scientifically proven techniques based upon well founded psychological observation and practice.

What do you think? Have you ever tried it? Let us know your experience with conversational hypnosis, as it’s a fascinating subject.

You do communicate with your body

Body language is an important aspect of interpersonal communication, in fact, experts agree that most of human communication is based on body language. Facial expressions, hand gestures, vocal tone and eye contact are all part of our daily interaction with people, and often counteract with what we actually speak.

At the same time, being able to read those signals from a conversation partner enables us to detect what a person really means, well beyond his spoken word.

On the other hand, being on top of our own body language during a conversation allows us to be in harmony with what we say and therefore appear more trustworthy and believable.

Let’s look at some positive body language behavior that put us in a positive light.

Maintain eye contact

Maintaining eye contact during a conversation keeps the other person’s attention to what you say. Shifting your eyes around not only comes across as disrespectful, but your listener will lose interest quickly. In addition, as a listener you likely don’t pay attention of your eyes browsing around and if asked for reciprocation, you’ll end up in an embarrassed situation.

Display good, positive posture

Standing or sitting with a good posture communicates energy and commitment. Avoid leaning against the wall halfway laying in your chair. Also maintain an open posture so that others will find you approachable and friendly. Avoid crossing your arms as it may hint that you like to remain distant from them. Try to imagine yourself on the other end and how you would feel about the other person.

Speak clear and loud

Speaking too softly or even mumbling your sentence signals a lack of confidence, while speaking to loud or aggressive may intimidate your communication partner. In some occasion, it may help to adjust your voice to the level of the person you’re talking to.  in addition, keep the right distance of about 2 to 3 feet between the person you’re talking to.

Stay in sync

It is very important to keep our body language in sync with what we say. Often times were not even aware that we say something positive while shaking our head from right to left, indicating a negative reinforcement. For example, if you want to communicate something serious, maintain a serious facial expression, and something funny should be said with a smile on your face.

Smile during a conversation

Smiling during a conversation at the right moments makes you likable and positive. It’s important to maintain eye contact when you smile at people, so they know it’s pointed at them. In fact, smiling at somebody or something else during a conversation would likely have the opposite effect.

One of my favor books is called Meditation by Ekanth Easwaran. I often have trouble to understand other people’s behavior, get disturbed by the way they talk, or laugh or even their dress…We all do, because we constantly judge others benchmark with our own standard.

Easwaran explains, our swollen concern for ourselves represents the worst threat in life repetitiously we are told that ego or self-will, our drive to be separate from the wholeness of creation, is the source of all our suffering. It keeps us from accepting others, from sympathy and quick comprehending.

Our own tunnel vision

Puffed up by our self-will, we look out at the world through the distorting medium of our likes and dislikes, hopes and fears, opinions and judgments. We want everyone to act as we think they ought to – the right way. When, naturally enough, they not only act their own way but expect us to do as they do, we get agitated. And what we see through this agitation makes up our everyday reality.

Ego is the force that over and over creates our sense of I-ness and its close companions “me”, “my” and “mine.” Independent of any situation, something deep within us, as persistent as our heartbeat, always renews our sense of separateness. Whether we are awake or asleep our ego goes on, though we are more apprehensive of it at some times than at others. Since it is constantly there, we think of it as our identity, and we protect it as a miser does his gold. Not only that, we expect others to treasure it as well.

Our personality rocks

We may not really whisk around a public address system, but most of us want our personality to be widely known and admired. If people do not think of us – and think well of us – a good part of the time, something have to be amiss, and we turn to a course, a book, a therapy, a health spa, or a diverse hair style. This wish for attention not only lead us into affectations of dress, speech, and gesture; it as well divides our consciousness. A small portion of our mind may be alert of the needs of others, but the larger portion is preoccupied with the effects we are creating. Startling when we stop trying to live up to an artificial image of ourselves, our real personality bursts forth – vivid, appealing, unusual.

Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. Love keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over others’ sins, but delights in the truth. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance. Love will never come to an end.

Spiritual life is marvelously fair: it is open to everybody. No favoritism, no hereditary class. No matter where you start, you can learn everything you need to learn, provided you are prepared to work at it. So too of love.

Anger is power

Anytime we avoid self-centered ways of acting, speaking and even thinking, we are putting others first. Anger, for example, is many times nothing more than violated self-will. Anger is power. We can acquire harness this power by putting other first. Whatever the flavor of our anger – irritability, rage, stubbornness, belligerence, or sullen silence – it can all be transformed into compassion and comprehending.

This does not mean that if someone we love tries to do something foolish or injurious, we ought to ignore it or connive at it by saying, “whatever you want, dear.” Putting others first does not at all entail making ourselves into a doormat. Truth be told, if we really love someone, we will find it essential to speak out for that person’s real and long-term interest – even to the point of loving, tender, but firm opposition.

Many times the way we do this makes all the change. If we are accusing or resentful we will seem entangled, judgmental, just the opposite of loving. Our words, our facial expressions, may betray a absence of respect. Even with the best of apprehensive intentions, we may provoke a nasty clash. But if we can help the other person and express our disapproval tenderly, with respect, it will support him or her to see more clearly.

Love is patience

Love can quite well summed up in a single word: patience. When you are patient, an unkind word or thoughtless behave will not agitate you. You will not want to run away or retaliate. Your help will hold steady, based as it is on deep respect and the intelligence that the lord lives in the other person. Pride will not keep you from making the first – and if need be, the second or third – overture towards reconciliation.

There are number of valid ways to do a job, and the idea that our way is best may reflect nothing more than habit. Rather than trying to have everyone be like us, we can acquire to see differences as part of the richness of life. Work then becomes a exquisite opportunity to practice patience and rub off the sharp edges and corners of our personality that separate us from others.

There is an inborn tendency in us to battle back or move away from people we dislike. Instinct is a powerful force; we are used t obeying it excluding question. But every such force in consciousness can be transformed. We all have the capacity to take our evolution into our own hands and behave not compulsively, but from free choice. If we hate because we are hated, injure because we are injured, we have no freedom; instinct has thrust its fingers up inside us as if we were a child’s puppet.

Almost every estrangement can be mended if one person involved is willing and able to forgive. When we forgive, we wipe the slate clean. We choose to live, not in remembrance of the past, but in present. We choose to trust, rather than live in fear of the future. Past and future, other twin burdens, fall away, and here, in the present moment, we are free to love unconditionally, wholly.

Forgiveness is king

We have to maintain in forgiveness. Forgiveness makes whole both the forgiven and the forgiver. Forgiver is brought into play a profound spiritual law: in forgiving those who have wronged us, we forgive ourselves for our wrongs of the past, even though we may have, through ignorance, committed a myriad of mistakes in life, these mistakes need not weigh heavily on our hearts if we have tested our best to free ourselves from ill will.

Sometimes our enmities are not based on wrongs done us at all. We might be difficult put to explain accurately why a particular person irritates us so much. We don’t like his pace, her gestures, his speech, her taste in clothes. We don’t want to see him, don’t even want to hear her mentioned favorably. The real source of irritation is not the other person. We are tyrannized by our conditioning – our likes and dislikes. We must close this distance between us and those we do not like if we really want to grow spiritually. Many times it means gritting your teeth, walking over, and trying to be friendly to someone you cannot stand. You may not be as well successful at first; perhaps you can only remain five minutes before the inner screaming becomes more than you can bear. The next time, though, you do better. And increasingly you acquire to master your mind, which mean that you can transform antipathy into sympathy at will.

We began with the ego-bound human being; we have come to the man or woman who has risen above separateness to become universal, on fire with love for all. My plea is that one of us cease striving until we reach this unitary consciousness, when we live in the certitude that all life is one and that whatever we do has an effect, once and for all or ill, everywhere.

Lucy Rosen wrote a new book Fast Track Networking, where she offers valuable tips from more than two decades of experience in organizing networking events. Many of those tips can be found in other books and websites, such as wear your name-tag on your right side, act as a host, and follow up. Where Fast Track Networking dives into more depth than other books we’ve read, is how to set up and run a networking group (she calles them mastermind groups). Rosen includes step-by-step planning, sample forms, and a recipe for following up.

Lucy Rosen has spent more than twenty five years networking – both as the originator and president of a bi-coastal marketing/public relations agency and as the originator and president of the national networking organization Women on the Fast Track.  Now she’s sharing her networking expertise with readers across the country with the publication of her latest book – revealing the networking secrets, and successes, of some of the best networkers in the country and offering a unusual step-by-step approach to networking proven to put people on the fast track.

In addition, Rosen provides several examples of referral sheets, which are short descriptions of how to help other people and what an ideal client looks like. We’ve come across similar advice before, but printed referral sheets (as she recommends in her book) can be much more effective than the verbal descriptions I’ve seen recommended in other books.

Rosen’s suggestions come from years of trial and error, and it’s written with personality and charm that makes you want to get out and put your new skills to use. And if you’re tired of attending yet another networking event with too many people, you may want to read this book for tips on smaller-scale, more intimate networking.

A fresh approach to networking written in Rosen’s unusual down-to-earth style, the book covers today’s most imperative concepts when it comes to this area of growing interest to professionals.

Your eyes  met for just a few seconds, and again you looked away. When you looked back up, he was speaking with some other persons. Was he viewing you as you scrambled? Or were you shaping that up? You noticed him when you were standing and talking with a friend. You think he noticed you, but maybe it was your illusion or just wishful thinking. He looked at you at roughly the equal time you saw him.

How can you tell if a guy likes you or is interested? How can you express if a guy care for you? Why are men so hard to study? Here are some signs that he is interested in you.

He sends you that distinctive look

He gives you a look that betrays his cease outside. Even though he is in opposition to the room, “that look” he has says it all. It is sweeping, from your head to your toes, and then his eyes drift on yours. You think you observe the opening of a tentative smile. You can even get that smile by knowing How To Be Wanted. Use the law of attraction to date the man you most desire and live the life you deserve.

He talks about you to a colleague or friend

Obviously, he likes you if he tells a common friend that he wants to know more of you, or he asks other people who you are and where you’re from. He is trying to play like he’s “just asking” but his questions demonstrate more than a simple interest. And when he tells someone that he finds you appealing, he very likely knows that it will get back to you. He’s hoping it does. 

Does he fancy you?

When he accomplishes to get close enough to you, to ask you questions, he is interested. He appears to be listening and responds to what you say. He’s advancing in to the ultimate question, which is: “Are you seeing anyone.” He would only ask this question if he wanted to get to know you, and he wishes the answer is “No.” You should not wear a ring in public. When a guy is across the room, he cannot tell which finger it is on and he may presume incorrectly that you are taken. Note that if he doesn’t ask you the question of whether or not you are attached, he may ask someone whom you both know.

He shows up unexpected

He likes you a lot if he shows up out of the blue. He could only do that if he has been asking people about your agenda, or he has been paying attention to where you are going and at what time. His face may turn blush when he sees you. A sudden, “Oh, hi,” is his way of saying, “I don’t want to seem obvious, but I am interested in you.” If you sense the same way, do not act shy and talk to him.

Be liked!

When you are a happy person and well liked, why wouldn’t he like you? Of course he does. If you don’t have a great life, however, now is your time to start striving for one. Take a look at your career potential, body image, future plans and resources. You may be genuinely talented at something, but it won’t amount unless you work on your strengths.

These are five sure signs that he is interested in you and he is on the edge of asking you out. This is where relationships begin, don’t play games and be upfront, friendly and most important, enjoy yourself.

So Tom. I met him after my studies in Berlin. My then boyfriend received his doctorate in Switzerland and was far away. At first I could not stand Tom: He was two years younger, my trainers and damned arrogant. But it also irritated me. And at some point it tipped between us. We chatted for hours, met with nightly bouts of red wine in the park, and what was the strongest terms: We never touched us. No hand that got lost, no kiss, nothing. I had betrayed my friend and have never guessed, however, that long ago it was too late. Four months we persevered. The bodies of the highest excitement, the dopamine level at the stop. Until we attacked each other in a mixture of fear, self-indulgent bad conscience and unbridled lust.

Back to the past

But how do you find out what you need and above all, how you need it? Morin has for one simple tip: Dive into the past! Focus on the most exciting encounter of your life, remember as much detail as possible! Thank you, Tom, for this once exciting experience! Critical look at in the rear view mirror is sexual, understanding patterns of their own volition to get into central erotic. Why is this or that encounter was so exciting? How big was this excitement compared to your usual level? What feelings were important: Exuberance? Satisfaction? Neighborhood? Fear? Guilt? Anger? Recognition?